8 Months: VICTORY and LOSS

A dear friend sent me an email with those words victory and loss in the subject line, I thought it said it all!
Eight months to the day, GOD gave VICTORY to my dear, dear husband...but we feel a deep, deep loss!

So much has transpired in the last two months as GOD gently and faithfully fulfilled every scripture we had opened to, and HE continued to guide us...through the WORD and the songs on our hearts.

Funeral services will be held at 4:30 pm Sunday, June 24, 2012 at the Apostolic Christian Church, Forrest. Burial will be in the South Apostolic Christian Cemetery, rural Fairbury. Visitation will be from 1:00 to 8:00 pm Saturday at Duffy-Pils Memorial Home, Fairbury and 3:30 to 4:15 pm Sunday at the church. 

As Fred and I often sang over the last eight months not only when the going was tough but just in PRAISE of OUR MAKER and SAVIOUR...

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

AMEN and AMEN

Thanking GOD for SIX MONTHS!

Yes, today marks six months since the Dr. said Fred only had 3 months to live if he didn't take chemo!  We are sooo thankful! Thankful and standing in awe of GOD and all HE has done for us!!!  What a comfort to have lived these last six months abiding in HIS AMAZING PEACE!

We began our day PRAISING HIM and will end it the same, PRAISING GOD for the GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!  TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

p.s.
It won't be long before the four carpenters begin!  :)
As Dad Leman once said, "We wait with anticipation for what the LORD has in store for us!"

Our Sons Wedding Weekend Has Begun!

This week has been full of gear shifting! ;)

Fred and I had talked after returning from Texas - with our cups overflowing with deep, personal, experiences through HIS SPIRIT, that we were surely being prepared for some challenges.  I know I mentioned to more than one person, that if the LORD tried to push one more experience into my being on that Texas Crusade, I was certain I was gonna burst!  I believe we have begun to see a part of what that oasis in the desert was all about!  I've never been fond of roller coasters, and this week has pretty much felt like one as we had one good day or night and then the next was filled with affliction of one sort or another.  But we have arrived at today with renewed courage to continue trusting the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE...Our FATHER...thank you JESUS!!!

Here's an update since our last post.  Saturday, the LORD worked another miracle as I was able to "find" a dress for the wedding! :) Actually, I had to confess to my sister-in-law that I hadn't really committed this detail to the LORD, so before we headed off to Morris, we did just that!  We arrived in town around 1pm, went to the first shop and found a dress! It was the right color, it was the right size, and although it needed modification, it appeared to be easily done!!!... it was the only dress in the store that met these criteria!  The next store yielded up a blouse, and with a call to the Sewing Service....the mission was accomplished by 3:30pm!! Now I don't know what you would call that, but to me, it was simply nothing less than DIVINE, FATHERLY, LOVE!!!.... through answered prayer!

EASTER SUNDAY
What a beautiful day as we, along with nations of people, PRAISED GOD for the empty tomb...OUR RESURRECTED SAVIOUR, JESUS!  As I thought about that and read of thousands praising HIM, the thought came to me.  The WORD says if we won't PRAISE GOD, that the stones will!  Then I thought of that amazing protein molecule, Laminin, and the SPIRIT said, Brenda, when you PRAISE GOD it's not just one being, or one of thousands, there are trillions of cells in your body and because HE has created you, every one of those cells are filled with HIS LIGHT, and PRAISING GOD when you PRAISE HIM!!!  What a powerful tool we hold in our being!!!  As I was writing this I did a Google search to see how many cells we had.  Science NetLinks, a science teachers resource, states as many as..... are you ready for this???  100 TRILLION!!!
So! that means when we are going through a rough spot where the enemy is trying to take us down in despair, we have at our "finger tips" 100 trillion voices of LIGHT and PRAISE!  The devil can't abide in the LIGHT, so JESUS will be the victor, IF we will give GOD the GLORY HE sooo deserves!  WOW, that's a tall order, but I've purposed in my heart to GIVE GOD the GLORY!! 

Monday and Tuesday were spent preparing for Wednesday. ;)  Our crew got started bright and early Wednesday morning to pour the slab for our house! The garage and front porch area will be finished tomorrow, unless the weather is unfavorable.

Here's a couple pictures!

The First Pour

Finished!

The day seems to be passing favorably and we are looking forward to the Rehearsal Dinner this evening!

So appreciate all the texts/emails of encouragement with Scriptures that continue to build our Faith and Trust in HIM!
May HIS PEACE and POWER fill each of us as we go moment by moment, looking for opportunities to PRAISE HIS NAME!

Praise GOD for the Gift of HIS SON!

GOOD FRIDAY INDEED, as we reflect on JESUS sacrifice for us!  If it hadn’t been for HIM, we wouldn’t be walking this journey by faith and with the comfort of HIS SPIRIT. Thank you JESUS! 

The week has been one of ups and downs, which are almost beginning to feel  normal! Holding fast to our faith and belief that GOD is performing a miracle in Fred’s body gets a little tough when he’s hit with pain.  A dear friend referenced the scripture this week in Daniel, where Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, had to explain to the king why they refused to bow down to his image.  I so appreciate their words… Our GOD is able to deliver us and HE will deliver us from thy hand, but if not, we will not bow down.  That testimony is so inspiring every time I read it!  No matter what kind of fire the devil puts to us, we don’t have to yield.  Feeling certain we are in the right camp, and that GOD IS  performing  a miracle, I still find a thought float thru my mind of uncertainty from time to time.  This morning was one of those times.  I wondered if at some point in my life I would ever look back to this time and be tormented by the devil that we didn’t do “enough.”  So before Fred read, I asked GOD if HE would open the Word to something for me to know if HE wanted us to look into other avenues of “fighting” this cancer, and this is what HE said.  …to consider of this matter,…ye know how that a good while ago GOD made choice among us, I felt GOD was saying, Brenda, remember almost six months ago when I asked you to believe?  GOD which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness…purifying their hearts by faith. Now therefore why tempt ye GOD…but we believe that through the grace of our LORD JESUS CHRIST,we shall be saved, even as they! Fred kept reading, and by this time the tears were streaming down my face for answered prayer and sorrow for my weak faith. And then he read… After this I will return, and will build again the tabernacle of David, which is fallen down; and I will build again the ruins thereof, and I will set it up: that the residue of men might seek after the LORD …known unto GOD are all HIS works from the beginning of the world!!!  As Fred finished, I waited for him to speak, would the SPIRIT move his heart the same as HE did mine?  He said, “We just have to keep doing and believing and let GOD take care of the rest.”  My heart sang out in PRAISE!!! Once again GOD has spoken very directly and we deeply thank HIM for this!

GOOD FRIDAY, INDEED!

More Revelations on Saturday

Friday I felt I noticed a shift in Fred's overall confidence.  As the WORD opened Saturday morning, he read Mark 9:14-29, where JESUS is asked to heal a man's son, because HIS disciples could not.  v23 JESUS said unto him, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." v24 And straightway the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "LORD, I believe; help Thou my unbelief."  After finishing the reading Fred confessed he had offered the same prayer to GOD yesterday! And then the hymn came sweetly to my heart..."Only believe, Only believe, All things are possible, Only believe. Only believe, Only believe, All things are possible, Only believe"  As I sang it to Fred, it gave us both a peace and encouragement to hold fast to HIS WORDS and believe! Later that morning the Spirit brought another song to my heart, Our GOD, HE is Alive and the chorus reads like this...
There is a GOD, HE is alive
In HIM we live and we survive
From dust our GOD
Created man
HE is our GOD,
The great I AM
These hymns and verses just keep driving home the point from the inspirational message I linked to in my Thursday post.  This Great GOD is our FATHER and HE CAN do anything.  We daily submit our lives to HIS WILL.  Why should we fear? Really, what is there to fear?  We are on HIS team, HE is our Captain and HE WILL WIN! How do I know? The BIBLE tells me so! And then don't forget Laminin!  If you haven't watched the video clip, DO! It really helps bring all things into perspective.

The day was filled with work at the house as we brought in more gravel to prepare for the plumbers.  He worked like a dog and ended up paying for it a bit as it took a little while to settle into bed that night.

The night was good and we woke up Sunday and I am certain Fred had a spring in his step as he prepared to go to church, and a song in his heart...others at church noticed it too!  I couldn't help but tell those who asked that we were doing great! This morning was when the LORD gave me the directive from Ezekiel 40:4 to "declare all that thou seest."  We spent Sunday evening relaxing at home and we shared our thoughts together that the enemy of the soul would surely be launching attacks on us.  He didn't wait long, Fred began to feel uncomfortable in his stomach before bed and the night was very restless, no pain but he didn't sleep much.

Monday morning my faith was beginning to grow a little dim, and the LORD opened the WORD to Luke 1:11-20  I was admonished!  Here the LORD was revealing HIS glad tidings to us just a couple of days ago, and I was struggling with unbelief! Needless to say with tears I prayed for forgiveness! I went to work in HIS peace, but kinda exhausted.  A dear friend had left a daily devotional book on my desk, so I turned to April 2nd and this is what it said...

   I am here. Here as truly as I was with MY Disciples of old.  Here to help and bless you. Here to company with you.  Do you know, even yet, My children, that this is the priceless blessing of your lives?  I forgive you, as you have prayed Me to, for all neglects of MY commands, but start anew from today.
   Study MY words and carry them out unflinchingly, unflinchingly. As you do this, you will find that you are miracle-workers, workers together with ME-for ME. Remember this, not what you do, but what you are-that is the miracle-working power.
   Changed by MY Spirit, shedding one garment of Spirit for a better.  In time throwing that aside for a yet finer one and so on from character to character, gradually transformed into MY likeness.
   Joy, joy, joy

I set about to do as HE asked...unflinchingly!

GOD's Word Speaks to Us

Friday and Saturday brought several directives to our hearts through the WORD.  As I pondered them, I wondered if I should place them on the blog.  You know how it is when you feel HIS SPIRIT speak so very directly to you, seeing you right where you're at and laying it out before you so that you cannot deny it is HIM...and you want to kinda keep it close to your heart...  I had offered a prayer for direction and, GOD made it clear Sunday morning when I opened the Bible to Ezekiel.  I will confess that when I opened the WORD, I had a fleeting thought to turn from it as I wondered how he would answer me in this part of the Bible where it was giving a description of the gates of the temple.  But I felt HIS SPIRIT tug at me to search the pages...it didn't take long and verse 4 kinda exploded off the page!  Obviously, GOD CAN DO ANYTHING and I was to "declare all that thou seest..." that HIS name would be Glorified!

And this is what I "saw with my eyes, heard with my ears, and to set my heart upon all that HE will show me..."

Friday morning the LORD opened the WORD to Zechariah 1:8-21
As Fred read these words, I listened in calmness thinking to myself how interesting it was that the description seemed a little like HE was describing our "house" in town "...and he stood among the myrtle trees that were in the bottom..." it reminded me of the row of cedars in our yard.  As Fred continued reading, I wasn't getting any strong direction as to the meaning of the words, but when he arrived at the 15th verse where it speaks of affliction, I started to feel the Spirit quicken in me and then he went on reading verse 16 "...I am returned to Jerusalem with mercies: my house shalt be built in it, saith the LORD of hosts..." the WORD was alive and I felt GOD saying...this is going to happen, the house is going to be built because HE was going to have mercy on us!  Fred's affliction is from the enemy of our souls and the LORD is going to bring judgement upon "the heathen."  And Fred read on, I hadn't said a word about what he was reading. "What be these?...These are the horns which have scattered....and the LORD shewed me four CARPENTERS!" Now I'm not for sure, but I think I said, "Does it really say four carpenters??!!!"
And of course he confirmed that it did, and continued reading.  "...What come these to do? And he spake, saying, These are the horns which have scattered Judah, so that no man did lift up his head; but these are come to fray them, to cast out the horns of the Gentiles, which lifted up their horn over the land of Judah to scatter it."  And he stopped reading.  As we shared the thoughts of our hearts, he had felt the LORD speak to him in the same way.

We believe GOD has revealed through HIS SPIRIT that HE is going to work that miracle that HE said HE was going to perform back in October and it is going to have a strong tie to the building of our home by four carpenters!  We wait with great anticipation!!!  I'll finish "the rest of the story" tomorrow.

PRAISE GOD!

If there was one word I could use to sum up our experience during our week in Texas, it is PRAISE!  GOD showed us in powerful ways that HE wants us to PRAISE HIS NAME!!  No matter what!  And when we do, HIS NAME IS GLORIFIED.  When we do, the enemy of our soul has no power over us!  When we do, life is filled with Peace, not fear...

SATURDAY was good as he pretty much moved past the nausea from the procedure.  We rested a bit during the afternoon so we weren’t quite ready to go to bed.  About  9PM I said, “Why don’t we look at that CD Lee gave me?”  I had been given a CD labeled “How Great Is Our God” about 3 months ago and several times had intention to get it out and see what was on it, but it never happened.  For 3 months that thing rode around in my briefcase! That night I thought we’d slip it in and see just what this dear friend had been encouraging me to look at.  It didn’t take long to see GOD’s perfect timing as we looked in amazement at the heavens and the stars and a little protein molecule called laminin and were reminded in a most powerful way of how GREAT is the GOD we serve.  At the end the LORD spoke very clearly to my heart that HE knew exactly where we were and that HE was right there holding us together.  Please take time to visit this link and see for yourself “How Great Is Our GOD!”  As a matter of fact, don’t "take" time… "MAKE" time!!! ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAzCP8SEKwc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

SUNDAY morning I read the beautiful scripture referenced in the message we heard last night.  Psalm 33. Fred’s night was mostly sleepless, but we were thankful that he had no pain and no nausea!  We went for afternoon church and were also able to be at ACYF that evening. 

MONDAY morning before Fred opened the Word, I offered up a heart prayer to GOD that HE would help us understand what it was that we should be doing…were we to continue holding to HIS direction given to us five months ago, or was it time to switch gears with the therapies HE showed us to use, or was it time to “accept reality” as it “appears”… like the enemy is prevailing.  And then Fred opened to Psalm 67…no, GOD opened the Word to Psalm 67!  Seven verses long.  As I lay there listening to Fred read, I heard him say…”thy saving health”!! I don’t usually interrupt him, but I said “Seriously,!!  Does it really say that”!!? And then “Let the people praise THEE , O GOD” over and over and over!  OK then, my heart spoke back,  we will keep praising THEE, THE GOD of the UNIVERSE and continue to TRUST with unreasoning  TRUST!  Why? Because HE is our GOD, even our own GOD, and it IS in HIS hand to BLESS us, our little part is to offer PRAISE to HIS name!  The rest of Monday was not smooth, pain started up in the afternoon, but so thankful it can be managed with medication.

TUESDAY Fred was able to work for a few hours at the farm office.  I was able to get to a couple places for house plans and in the evening we and some of our kids went into the house to move dirt and gravel around and pick up branches.  We even had a little help from Pennsylvania! Thanks Tyler!

WEDNESDAY we started with an early Dr appt. followed by several mtgs for house plans and then an afternoon appt. with a Urologist.  Dr. said everything looked very good and he would schedule the appt. with Radiology to have the nephrostomy tubes replaced in 6-8 wks. Driving home, that nagging voice of fear was trying to gain a foothold.  Instantly the Spirit was there with a song on my heart “Praise ye the LORD; HE is King over all the creation!” Zion’s Harp #5.  It doesn’t get much better than that! Fred and I sang it together as we drove back to Forrest and indeed, my Peace was restored!  After that appt. we had one last stop, to check in with the plumber.  We should be ready for him after the weekend!  Fred tolerated riding in the van fairly well and only needed a little pain reliever before we headed to church.

THURSDAY, this morning, he said it felt good to wake up feeling refreshed, and without pain!  PRAISE GOD!  We’ve noticed after meals a little fatigue comes over him, but it’s not too long before he’s back out the door, not running, but back at it.  He’s a trooper!!! He worked at the office most of the day and this evening we did a little more gravel work to prep for the plumbing and then met with our flatwork guy. I am sooo blessed!  Thank you JESUS! 

Signs of Spring at our Home in the Country

HOME!

Praise GOD, from whom ALL blessings flow:
Praise HIM, all creatures here below;
Praise HIM above, ye heavenly host;
PRAISE FATHER, SON AND HOLY GHOST!

This was the song that came of the Spirit and filled my heart as we journeyed home, and was there this morning as we awoke.  It was not a journey free of concern, as Fred was feeling nauseated as we began, but by the last leg of the trip he began to feel much better!

We both had a good nights sleep! Praise the LORD! And so far this morning he has not had any nausea. Water is staying down without any problem. We'll try more in the line of small amounts of food sometime today.

Kinda shocking to see how Spring has come to our yard since we left!

HIS name be PRAISED for all those who have lifted us up in prayer before the FATHER!

 

Sitting in the Airport

The last 12 hrs have been up and down as Fred has had bouts of nausea.  He's feeling OK at the moment, but please pray for no nausea the duration of the trip...according to HIS will...we're good with HIS will! So thankful to be heading home surrounded with support from family and friends!  Couldn't have done it without them! Thank you JESUS!

Praising HIS name as we remember...HIS thoughts for us are thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give us an expected end, and when we call upon HIM, HE will hearken unto us and we shall seek HIM and find HIM when we search for HIM with all our heart...Jer 29:11  He's still our LORD and KING and the CAPTAIN of our ship of faith! HE's still the GREAT PHYSICIAN and a GOD OF MIRACLES... just takin a step at a time and trusting with unreasoning trust!

And Even Sooner!!!

Thanking GOD for HIS Divine intercession as we are resting in our hotel room having been dismissed from the hospital about 5PM!!!

Fred's feeling good, moving a little slower, but Oh so glad to be out of the hospital! ;)

Sooner Than We Thought!

Yesterday we prayed for and received a great miracle...today HE has blessed us again as HIS healing hand has been upon Fred's kidneys and improvement has been swift and steady. We praise HIM for this!  So the doc said going home tomorrow will be the plan unless there is a change in his progress! Yippee!!! :) 

GOD has been sooo good to us!  Won't be long and we will be HOME!

Thanks for each one of your prayers, texts and emails... your support has been deeply felt and evidenced by an amazing and abiding Peace from our FATHER, the GOD of the Universe!!

3-21-12 Surgery Number Two and Fred's 55th Birthday

Well the past two weeks have been busy!  We worked on digging and pouring footings last week and then this week we began by celebrating our 28th Anniversary! So thankful for HIS blessings on our years lived as one.

It actually became very real to me how one we were when the Lord laid it on my heart to plan a surprise trip for Fred to commemorate our Anniversary and his 55th Birthday!  It came to me around the latter part of January and I began to move forward pretty timidly, asking each couple as the Lord directed.  Since we visited San Antonio on our honeymoon, I thought that would be a good destination and so purchased tickets on Amtrak for this week.  By the time Monday, March 19th rolled around, I was close to being physically sick and was so ready to get this secret out and be able to share ALL my thoughts with Fred again!  I had no idea I'd be writing about this on here, but neither did I have any idea how GOD was SO orchestrating every detail of a trip that is yet to come to an end!

Sunday night, our 28th, our children took us to Chicago to eat out and then dropped us off at our hotel for the night.  At bedtime, I noticed Fred's feet seemed a little swollen.  The real concern came Monday morning when he got up and his face was noticeably puffy and he hadn't gotten up thru the night as usual.  Well, we headed to the train station and long story short, after many texts and emails and a lot of prayer, we felt the Lord directing us to keep going forward, not cancelling the trip.  After checking with the Dr. and picking up a prescription we boarded the train, Fred's swelling in his face mostly gone, and replaced with a very shocked expression...as he discovered we were going from Bloomington to San Antonio...a thirty hour trip.  We weren't into the trip long and felt HIS Spirit begin to reveal we were part of a bigger picture than any of us had a clue existed.

Thankfully we could call back to the Dr the next morning to discuss what she would advise for the next step, because he was well over 24 hrs without voiding.  Upon arrival we agreed to get to a prompt care/ER and start looking into it. We were stunned when the Dr. came in and told us he needed to admit Fred because his kidneys had failed!  When the shock subsided then came the questions.  We got to our room at 4AM and tried to rest a bit before the day began.  Several Dr.'s later, it was determined that the best approach would be to insert nephrostomy tubes to drain the kidneys, so at 4PM he went into surgery to have that done.  The procedure went really well and within the hour he was voiding!!!  We will be here several days yet.

Kinda exhausted, so I'll sign off.   Our  hearts are filled with thanksgiving and praise for the mighty hand of GOD carrying us thru this very emotional day!

One Week Later

WOW!    Life is feeling sooo good right now!

It's NOT hard to remember how we felt last Thursday but so, so thankful for how it feels in this moment...and we give ALL the glory to the sure mercies of our great GOD! Truly appreciate the many prayers offered for us!

Although nothing was determined to be the actual cause of the pain, it has lessened and we kinda think it will soon be gone! Yesterday, as Fred and I were visiting in the early morning hours, a feeling came over me that our little world was going to become calm again, like we had somehow turned a corner.  PTL!... as HE alone stills the waves!!

The stump grinder fella came yesterday morning and got that huge stump out...thanks, Kenny!
I was able to get the building permit yesterday also soooo... we are good to GO!!! :)  Should be digging footings in the very near future, Lord-willing!

Oh, and not to forget the wedding plans!!...we will be working on finishing Reuben and Krystle's invitations tonight! A few more showers, and the wedding date will be here!  :)

A few months ago Fred signed us up for the 25th Annual HOME SHOW in Bloomington at the Coliseum.  If you're in town, come see us in booth #332 and see what the HyperVibe can do for you! :)

GOD is good!!!

4+ Months, the Waves are Gettin' a Little Higher...but our CAPTAIN is Right Beside Us

We have been blessed in the past five weeks with strength to accomplish our last goal before we start building...taking down the huge chinese elm! That happened on February 11th.

Then Fred had a sudden onset of pain three days ago, early Monday morning. We went to the Dr. yesterday, and they were able to get him scheduled that morning for a scan. The results came back, no new blockage, PTL! But the cancer is still there and some has grown.  Thankful we have something to manage his pain now, the rest we continue to leave with the GOD of the universe!

Please join us in praising the Living GOD!!!

Today it is 3 months since the Dr told us that without chemo, Fred only had 3 months to live!

We are traveling home from our work trip in Texas.  The photo was taken Friday around 2pm before we headed out.  Fred and Reuben are standing on the deck with Daniel, the man whose house we worked on.  We had a great week and Fred is feeling great!

We glorify GOD that HE is above ALL!  HIS WORD is TRUTH and beyond a shadow of a doubt, we can TRUST HIM!!! ...with EVERYTHING!  Praise the LORD!

In a desire to exalt HIS great name, I would encourage you to tell at least one person today of GOD's Faithfulness and Sovereignty, in your own life, or share our experience.

May HIS name be PRAISED!

At Last...SNOW! :)

Blanketed in snow :)

I love to see it snow and so far this winter we hadn't had much accumulation, you know....enough to make a snow man! ;)  

Well, yesterday it started snowing around 8AM and kept up all day!  So today I slipped out to the "house" and took a picture of it, all lovely in white.  

However, I must confess, earlier in the morning I was having second thoughts about my love of snow as I scooped off the front entrance to my office building!!  Oh well, it didn't take too long and I was warmed by the thought that in a few short hours we would be headed to warmer weather!  

A little after one o'clock this afternoon we drove off with another couple in a truck, hauling a trailer, for Bastrop, TX!  Fred has continued to feel good and we are looking forward to working together with our son, Reuben, and several others from Forrest on a work team in the "sunny south."  Just ten hours to travel yet tomorrow! ;)

We continue to give GOD the glory for the miracle of the moments!